I haven’t been shooting for a long time (since March 2012). This time last year I would have joined on the bandwagon and go for event such as Floria 2012, Bon Odori 2012 to shoot them but I just can’t find the passion to shoot recently. I guess its because of one incident which happened in March this year.
My house was broken into!!
And they took all but one of my lens. I lost a Tamron 17-50mm f/2.8, Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8, Tamron 70-200mm f/2.8, Tamron 90mm f/2.8, a Lensbaby Composer and a couple of expensive filters.
They also took 4 of my hard disk which contained most of my documents, photos, things that I have collected for the past few years. Yeah… All the photos I took since 2006 is gone.
I was in a slump. It was a hard time to get by. I couldn’t believe that it was all gone. Cost-wise I guess I would have lost close to RM6000 that day alone. And it was after coming back from the CSS camp. Luckily I had my camera and my laptop out with me that day. If not the loss would have been even more painful.
Since then, I felt that the passion was no longer there, especially when others ask me to shoot photos. I still shoot every now and then but I can rarely find the joy of shooting anymore. I even gotten into a bad relationship with someone the day I lost my stuff because someone insisted I removed the photos of him from Facebook (acting like a child seriously @@). I gotten a phobia of leaving anything valuable alone now, and I bring my stuff everywhere I go to. I can’t imagine losing my laptop (with all my project data in it) or anything else. I got demotivated to do a lot of things (even my project) for a long while.
I’ve not told many about this, only those close to me. I had hopes getting the items back but still reality is that, this is Malaysia, you don’t really get back what you lost to thieves (which itself is a sad case). I also pray that nothing worse will come out of this bad experience.
Anyway. I have decided to type this here because a few days ago, while updating the previous post, I looked through the photos I took of Dogathon 2011, and most of them were good and it made me reminiscence the time I use to shoot. That when I told myself that I need to recover. I need to somehow get back into it again. Perhaps I have mourned long enough. So you might see some more photos from me in the future (hopefully).
I’m really thankful for the support I gotten in my time of slump though. There are people who were really understanding and I thank them for that :). I have also learned to be more careful I guess in leaving my stuff (although I still have the tendency to leave things everywhere) and am currently looking for a new place to move into (with possibly better security).
Meanwhile, here’s one of the photos I took during my slump (it was a CSS event and it was kinda hard to say no to shooting a CSS event)
It’s when I get photos like this that make me treasure photography more 🙂