I argued with a good friend recently until both of us left fuming in the end. The reason? A difference in thoughts and a minor misunderstanding. Those who truly know me will know that I stand very very strongly on what I believe in, be it friendship, love, relationship, trust etc. And I will defend very very strongly on those who try to stamp on my believes.

And we left fuming for a day. I found that even the minor things influence me quite easily when I get angry. The argument continued the next day because of a Facebook status update. [Funny right?]

Anyway, it was resolved in the end. It took a lot of patience but it reached that point in the end. And I found out that one must really comply to a few rules to settle an argument.

1. Never ever talk at the same time. [The resolution happened through FBChat as well; I started by asking her to give me a moment to talk. And everytime she interrupted, I spam ‘WAIT’ till she keep quiet.] Reason is that I realize that when both of us are chatting, none of us are actually reading what the other is typing. That’s no way to solve an argument. Also remember to give the other party a chance to talk and do not interrupt.

2. Be humble. Accept the fact that you CAN be wrong. That is very important. If you are wrong and you know you are, be humble and admit you are wrong. Say sorry and then try to explain what you wanted to say, but in a nice way. There may be times when you aren’t wrong at all but if the other party do not want to admit their fault, you shouldn’t force them to. Accept it if they do not want to admit their wrongs. Its either you apologize or you forgive. One party must be tolerant to either say sorry or forgive the other.

3. Do not use sarcasm or criticize the other party. Sarcasm and critics will just add fuel to the fire. Refrain from doing so. Most of us will tend to criticize and be sarcastic when we are angry. So I will suggest for you to take long deep breathes and keep your anger under control. And when one is angry they will most probably relate everything the other say as sarcasm or criticism. Keep your head cool.

4. There’s no such things as letting the fire cool down [unless you are talking years of cooling down]. Things will sure to ignite again every now and then so long as the misunderstanding remains. It may be a good idea to resolve the misunderstanding before it accumulates and another war of words begin. It’s a bit like Neyo’s Mad- And I don’t want to go to bed, Mad at you. So try to resolve the argument as soon as you can, but properly.

5. Make sure there are no interruptions during the resolution. Settle the argument before focusing on anything else. Give your full focus towards settling the argument.

I’ll make it simple with these 5 points first. It should be sufficient to resolve an argument [hopefully I’m not wrong or I’ll end up getting flamed here]

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