The final ‘Thank You’
I met you tonight once more, after close to 2 years not seeing you at all. My first reaction when I saw you walking through that door was ‘Oh shit, you have got to be kidding me’, but there you were, standing with the rest of them. We weren’t in contact for that 2 years, except for that one time when I asked that really stupid question of you. But other than that there wasn’t any contact for close to two years and I have got to admit, seeing you once more was awkward. And I slump into my ‘please don’t notice me cause I don’t know how should I act’ program and that eventually turned into ‘oh you noticed, self denial protocol initiated, Alan will ignore you today’.
And I am not happy for it. I didn’t wanted it. But I didn’t know what to do about it.
~I remember this was taken on my way back from sending you home 2 years ago. Later that night you broke up with me~
But still it was nice seeing you again.
You know that tingly feeling you have within yourself when you met your ex, knowing that he/she is seeing someone else right now. I had it in abundance this night. Things didn’t work out between us last time. And things might remain how it was like tonight for a long time to come.
But in my mind, I’m really happy (I’m lying partially) to see that you have met with a better person. I’m happy to see that you have found your own happiness (Still lying partially- I just had to be honest). I hope that he can treat you as how you will wish to be treated (At least I’m telling the truth here, you should be treasured). And you also need to keep believing in your own happiness.
I never really talk about us much to anyone else. And after all this time I’ve been trying to let go of that part of you within me. Because it makes me unable to love anyone else fully. But I guess I’m wrong. Why should I let you go. What we had was special, and so it should be there, even though things didn’t work out. After all, memories shouldn’t be kept hidden. It should be cherished. That is why I’m acknowledging you here.
There is one last thing I really want to tell you though. (Don’t worry, its not another ‘ I’m the Alan~~’ post.)
~This was taken when we were at Johor for Alvin and Janice’s wedding~
Thank you, for being the one for me, even though it was short. Thank you, for keeping me company for those few months. Thank you, for teaching me about God. Thank you, for all the cares you have given. Thank you, for putting up with me when I hurt you. Thank you, for that second chance. Thank you, for teaching me how to love. Thank you, for all that you have given me.
And the final ‘Thank you’ will be.
Thank you, Nat, for loving me once, for being my first love.
~It has become a norm for me to dedicate song’s that I’ve learnt to people who matters to me. This will be your song. Its translated as ‘Thank you takes on a deeper meaning’. Original song here~
I’m quite sure you would not be seeing these ‘Thank you’ since the cowardly me decided that it is totally unnecessary for you to see it. But if you ever found out about this, then it’d be great. At least I’ve done what I wanted to do ^^.
When relationships becomes business-like
A moment ago, I was chatting with a friend who had just broken up with her boyfriend and is currently looking for a new one. So I had helped her to create an advertisement, looking for the perfect guy for her. Interviewed her a bit on the type she’s looking for and came up with the following advertisement.
She really is quite a looker, so much so that I actually sent her my resume
I wonder if she would hire me.
What I have grown to love… Final Fantasy VII and its music
There are a few things which I really do love. These things are simple things that the mere presence of something related to it can just bring me to tears because I really do like them.
And one of these ‘things’ was something I grown up with. It’s Final Fantasy. One thing in particular brings me back to my teenage days when I was totally engrossed in the game was its music. Beautifully crafted music by Nobuo Uematsu. And one of the best game I ever played was Final Fantasy VII
I remembered walking a distance to a friend’s house to watch him play the game (And to have some hands-on). I remember trying to get the game online (very slowly) and had the game torrent stuck at 99.8% and in the end it didn’t finished btw (Oh I stress that my days of downloading games are over).
And I remember spending whatever savings I had on the music CDs.
The music were just amazing, spectacular (Hats off the Nobou Uematsu – His music is always the best).
A while back I did blog a review about Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core which also had great remade version of FFVII music. And some time back as well, I found some videos on the Tour de Japon orchestra which plays all sort of music from the Final Fantasy series. And some brought me to tears.
Here are three which really got me:
Aerith’s theme, calming and beautiful.
~
The main theme from FFVII, both peaceful and distressing.
~
And finally, my favorite (Its from the movie Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children)
This piece is called ‘Cloud Smiles’. This keeps reminding me that amidst all the pain and strife that I have gone through, there will always be a bright and happy ending to look forward to (Even the conductor was smiling in the end, this is one of the last song the conductor did before Nobou came out to conduct).
Do not miss out on the last one. It is really the best.
And perhaps, today, I have found out more about what love is.
Alan is ‘in a relationship’
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Or should say Alan ‘was’ in a relationship.
At least for one hour or so.
I changed something in my Facebook account. From ‘single’ to
Well since people might notice that it’s a particular ‘day’ and I changed the relationship status, we need something to further strengthen that ‘changed relationship status’. So I left this comment to myself.
In the end, I gotten a lot of comments. Some congratulating me, some being super curious. [And some definitely super angry and pissed off after this]
For the congratulations, thanks a lot for being happy for me, although it was just a one day relationship, I’m happy to know that they are a lot of people who are happy for me as well.
For the super curious, sorry for playing around with your curiosity. Alan most probably won’t be able to find a girlfriend any time soon for quite obvious [and perhaps quite unobvious reasons].
For the super angry and super pissed, I’m very sorry. But since it’s April Fools, I hope you don’t mind. Hmmm I’ll let you all be the first to know if I really do managed to get into a relationship after this 
So come 2nd of April 2010, I’ll be back to ‘single’
[Actually I feel so bad that, I’d changed my status back to ‘single’ after one hour]
[Dear Michelle, I’m so sorry to disappoint you. I heard that you were really happy after reading that status update.So sorry. I’ll definitely tell you first if I gotten into a relationship]
[Dear YeeWuen, sorry for cheating you. Thanks for being a good junior. I didn’t expected that message from you]
[Dear Miss Mermaid, are you still curious?]
Here’s a few of the kepo (translated- people who wants to know about other people’s stuff) messages:
And eventually, someone from my MSN decided to follow in suit
It’s contagious, this joke~~
Anyway. Happy April Fools.
And as JJ and Ian (from Hitz.fm morning crew) would say: GOTCHAAAAA!!!
Dear Miss N,
*This is a delayed entry.*
Dear Miss N,
I’m typing this while waiting for the moment to fetch you from the bus station.
I guess I must be thankful for remembering that you are coming back today. I must be thankful for taking the courage to sms you and offer my help to you. Honestly I thought that my sms will be somewhat like the most of what I’ve sent before, without a reply, but well, you did reply and you did accepted my offer for help (even if you did give me reasons and conditions for it). Honestly I don’t mind doing this for you even if you did somewhat ignored me for the past few months. I’m glad I still keep believing that things will be better and didn’t give in to my sadness and anger. You might not know how many times I almost gave in, especially to the latter.
I’m going to be fetching an angry person later. I do hope that person don’t lashed out at me. Haha. I remember someone very dear to me once said. Don’t let your anger consume you. (That person was my ex) She understands that I was a person who let anger get the best of me, especially during my undergraduate years. And many times I just felt depressed and tired after all unleashing all those anger. I’m not in a position to judge you nor do I know what’s going on with your life. But I do want you to know the one thing I found out all those years ago. Feeling anger does not help with things. You’ll only get tired and stress out in the end. It won’t help you with in the relationship with the person you are angry with and it will ruin the relationships you do have with others around you. She helped me out with those words and I in turn hope that these words will help you out as well. Life’s a bitch sometimes but life will be much more of a bitch if you let your anger take control of you.
And honestly I am happy today because things seemed to be looking better after the “cold-war” all these months. I just hope that things will continue to get better as time pass. And I do hope I remember to keep my mouth zipped later while fetching you. Though you might not want to hear this since you seem to loathe and despise this place but still, welcome back. And I look forward to tasting that cupcake. Haha. Cheers.
Alan
*I guess I won’t have the chance to eat that cupcake. Haha. Miss N messaged me a few moment ago saying that she has found some other friends on the bus and will share a taxi with them. Somehow I did look forward to fetching the angry girl back but seems like its not this time. Sigh. I do hope that this is not another bad sign though.*
I’ve been turning into a…
Well… You all heard about the series GTO rite???
Great Teacher Onizuka…
But recently I felt that I have turning into a KSA…
Wanna know what it means???
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KePo Senior Alan
Haha
I found that I really like to know how my juniors are doing… How they are feeling etc… Up till I frequently visits their blog to see how they are faring…
Not a bad senior right???
But a bit too KePo…
But being KePo is okay…
As long as you are not PatGua…
If you are both KePo and PatGua then it will really be a problem 
So…
I’m KSA
It was another history in the making
I made another history last Friday… Just barely 10 hours after driving the ‘auto’ car to faculty’s gate…
But this new ‘history’ in the making is really a grand one… Something which I did joke about but never actually intended to do before until that day…
I was ‘trapped’ at a certain some place for sometime… I actually got quite tired of waiting so I started walking… And I walked home from this place… Guess where this is….
Its K17
YUP…I WALKED FROM K17 TO OLD FLAT…
…
You must think I’m crazy right?
I have also thought myself as crazy while walking too… Cuz it was already 9 plus at night…
I must be the first UPM student to actually walked from K17 to Old Flat… (I’m actually quite proud of it ler…)
….
I waited for about 1hr30m for a bus to get to the KTM station since the gate to Old Flat was already closed at 7pm and since I only managed to leave lab at 7.30pm…
And what’s amazing while waiting is that throughout the wait… I didn’t see any RapidKL bus, or Metro bus or that ‘other’ bus (For gotten the bus name) or even the K17 bus… or EVEN A TAXI… Gosh
And when I finally saw a taxi at the end of the 90 minutes wait… I thought of taking it since if I took bus back to the main campus, it would mean another 30 minutes walk to old flat the long way…
But imagine this ya… The taxi turned into the college area… There was someone in it so I presumed that the taxi driver was dropping off someone… And while waiting… The K17 bus departed after its 90minutes break… Now since there was a taxi… I just let the bus leave…
Siapa tau when the taxi comes out there was even more passengers and the driver didn’t even looked at me…
Geram!!!
And that’s when I started walking…
Photos from the walk (not too HQ since taking with my phone, didn’t bring my Canon camera out)
View of somewhere… The roads was really this dark
Finally some light in front of the place they held the MAHA’08
Gateway to the MAHA’08 site
I took the lesser bus traveled KPZ route back which was still quite a distance… And I had to pass a car gate along the way… This is the view of KPZ at night
Luckily there wasn’t really any un-passable gate along the way… I was a bit worried that I might find a fence which was twice my height which I had to scale
I was looking a bit tired halfway through the journey…
The K5 shop was closed… Darn… Wanted to get a drink here
The field behind KMR looks deserted
The road to chapel from KC
Reached the mosque through the way to K10
Passed the back gate of the mosque…
And finally arrived at my house… Tired but a bit happy for mission accomplished…
Amazingly… the whole walk took 1h15m… Slightly less than the time I waited for the transportation…It must have been a few kilometers walk… And I finished in 1h15m..
Now I wonder why I took longer time to finish the marathon during my first year… Haha…
Really… Something only Alan will do…
The ‘Have a nice day’ message
Have you ever received a message which sound like this ‘Good morning, have a nice day ahead’ from someone else??
Well… Another possible Alan-only thing is that I always send this type of message to certain people on certain mornings… Just to wish them a good day and hope that they will be cheery that morning…
And sometimes what I felt after sending it was that I am annoying… Imagine sending the message every few days to a person… That person might think ‘OMG, he’s so annoying… Why can’t he quit it with the messages already’
But regardless of that I send… Perhaps it will help you remember that I’m still around… And still keeping contact
And honestly I didn’t really expect someone else to send it to me out of the blue…
So it was a pleasant surprise when I received one yesterday
Honestly it was really a pleasant surprise… It felt as if someone cared… Haha… A wonderful feeling.
It was sent from someone whom contact I didn’t have on my phone…
It really made my morning cheery
Thanks Donelia.
Perhaps we can all do this sometime… Make others cheery in the morning… It may be a simple message worth a few cents… But it could mean a lot to another person
Another urge of the heart…
I think I just saw one of my juniors weeping just now… Alone somewhere.. Felt a bit down after that and left her a ‘Jia you ba’ when she was away… (Frankly I don’t have the courage to go and console someone whom I still don’t really know)
Now… Was that a good thing to do??? Or was that an ‘Alan-only’ thing…?
