~minors n’ MAJORS~

I am not exactly happy to be back… Sad to say so actually…Why? Cuz… cuz its like even if I am back here I feel nothing different from being away… Sure this place is full of memory but also full so some stuff that I really don’t want to think about… Well? What is it? Em… Lets just say that IMU Medical registration is ending soon… And someone hadn’t give up on persuading me… And that make me damn frustfrated… It makes me feel as if I really don’t have another option… And I don’t like that… Really HATE!!! Damn… I was expecting it but the impact wasn’t exactly as I had predicted… Since my uncle and aunt are staying with us now… Its also crowded and noisy at home…Thanks to those noisy small cousins of mine… It just don’t feel like home anymore… And nothing has changed from last time… Me still locked up in my room using the computer all day… Why? Because there is just nothing to do… Why? Cuz my uncle and aunt monopolized the downstairs TV… My parents the upstairs TV.. The internet is freakin slow… No more Streamyx here… And the recent computer fix (due to getting sot by the lighthing) leave me with an even worse computer… Don’t exactly know why… But I can’t access DOOM 3 anymore… And I was so hoping to play it this time… Damn… Really… Looks like I don’t have anymore happy reasons here at Labuan… All cept the one who’s still on her exams… I wonder how she’s faring… Hope the best of luck for you and I really want to see you… Can’t wait for your SPM to finish… Stay well… I’ll be waiting…

Anyway… I resee FF7:AC again today… And also watch Harry Potter 4… Well I can’t say it was truly spectacular since it was really a little bit off from what I had been expecting… Not sure what was wrong with it… Maybe because its really very serious the movie this time around… AND they expand the plot too quickly… They skip many parts and even changed some of the parts… So I can’t say that I was watching the movie but just bits and bits of it…. So a little dissapointed… Oh well…

Anyway…. Go see pictures… Few more up on recent celebration of YH and JJ bday

26^th of November 2005

The day I am back….

Lol… Its already a long time since the last time I set foot on this tiny island… And every time returning to this island I will remember many things that happen… Mostly all about myself… The story of me and SS and many other various memories that wouldn’t fade from my mind even if I try forgetting it you know… I remember the first time I left that island to study… A year ago to KK… And during that time I really felt that I am finally leaving my past behind of me…. But still we will return to our past sooner or later… And there is no way to forget about it… That’s why we must always cherish the past memories that we had… For me, esp the memory of me and SS… and everything that I felt before…. Looking back on things I can really see how much I had already changed… My way of thinking and my ways of seeing things… I am no longer that Form 3 or Form 4 or Form 5 Alan Tan… But now really a different person than from before… And I know I try to change for the best… No matter what happens ne?… Hahaha… Still learning and improving each and everyday for me cuz that’s what life is about… Improving… And I will always cherish the memories of this small island…  Cuz that’s what memories are about right… Just like the special memories that all of you have… None of it will entirely fade away from you mind… Talking about all this make me recall the Final Fantasy 7:AC… I really love it!!! Lol… Why? Because in that story… The relationship of the characters will never ever fade away from my memory… Especially about how Cloud met Aeris in the end of the movie… It comes to show that if others have memory of you… No matter where you are… You are always within their hearts… The memories of Aeris made Cloud bound even more closely to her even though she’s already gone…That’s why I can never ever forget about that particular scene… I really love it…

Talking about Final Fantasy 7: AC… Sometimes it makes me feel that I really want to be in that world… The world of fantasy… It will be amazing… A place where you will always be remembered… A place where you will always be able to be within their hearts… The hearts of those friends of yours… Sometime I wish that my life is a fantasy itself… Where all ends come to a happy ending… Right? Everyone would like that…

Hahaha… Going back to the Anatomy Killer match last Tuesday… I can easily sum it up in three letters …. K.I.A ( Short for Killed in Action).. There is basically NO WAY that I can secure an A for my Anatomy… With 26/40 carry marks… And the tough MCQ and the even tougher SAQ… and the relatively easy ESSAY… There is no chance to secure an A… I just hope that I didn’t do too bad… Anyway the good news is there is already an A in my hand… Animal Management…. A!!! Lol… HAHAHAHA!!! GREAT!!! Lol…. Actually several other results are already out also but the damn line here and in college is just damn terrible… And that site is currently inaccessible… So still have to wait to get my results…

Anyway… Talking about here… Where do you think I am now?… Haha… Now I’m sitting in the Food Garden of KLIA waiting for my flight lo… Still have about 3 more hours… Lol… I arrived too early already lor…. What to do… Lol… Anyway I wish every Biomedical Student Happy

Holiday

… And those who are not having holidays to continue to study for whatever test, exams that might be coming… Be good, you all…

——

24th November 2005

…Another … Speechless…

I wonder why someone thinks that she knows what is good and what is not good for others… Like who make you the judge to judge what people should feel?… After all… Caring sometimes bring worst results… Crazy… There is an extent… A limit to everything…. And still many limits are being crossed here… Why is she sooo senseless… Don’t you think its up to the person in concern to make his/her decision whether to worry over something or not… And not you making her not to worry… So what if they worry?… They need to learn to control themselves from worrying… You can’t expect to help them all the time… And helping = not helping sometimes… So its best to leave people alone… Stupid!!!! BTW… That she’s a he…

I need to go back to study… I won’t give up… Wish me luck… Going back soon… Happy…

19th November 2005

Anatomy

The killer… Just by the sound of it I can imagine how hard the next encounter is going to be… There will be no escape, no easy way, no way out and no mercy for me… Just thinking of all those things that I am suppose to know before the exams brings me to a nervous breakdown… That’s why in my dictionary, Anatomy = The assasin for Biomedic University students.. Even as I type this I am wondering how far will I be able to venture before falling down face first under the overwhelming pressure of such a subject… It makes me fear studying itself… And my future will never be the same again after such an encounter… For I don’t want to think of its disasterous outcome if I didn’t manage to subdue it… Many had fallen dealing with this subject and even those who are iron-hearted may find themselves shivering under its influence… How am I able to overcome this??? Is there really a way to overcome it?

20th November 2005

Not Good…

Anatomy…. Really too much… I doubt I will be able to finish reading it… And its worrying me how I read and forget and read again and forget again… This ain’t good… Even though there is about 2 more days for me to study I seemed to lose hope already… Is it really doable… Like finishing all the Anatomy stuff in just 2 days…. I really don’t know… Right now… Whatever flame I had before is already distinguished and I am not even sure how to continue you know… This is the first time I lose soo much hope during the finals… I really don’t know what am I suppose to do… Am I really DEAD??~~

Another K.O to Interactive Speaking… This can’t be good lor… Why was it soo HARD and why was the one which the lecturer didn’t teach come out oooo… I didn’t read that part la… This is sooo Bad lo…. Well… For Animal it was a lot better… At least I am sure that more than 35 answers are correct I think… Lol… Contradicting myself again… But it was a lot easier lo… I think I might have gotten my first A…. Really hope so… Lol…

Now its down to two sub… Anatomy and Genetic Molecule…. Basically the final hurdle… And the next round will be against that Killer Anatomy… Dead..~~~

And the match for today is Alan vs Interactive Speaking will spark off at 5pm local time at big big hall of PKKSSAAS of UPM, Serdang… This will be the fifth out of eight matchups to the end of the tournament and we are already halfway through the tournament… How will Alan fare this time? Lol~~~ Wish me luck…

And………… I LOST… It was more like a one-hit K.O… Damn hard you know… All I study didn’t come out… And those come out were not in the notes at all… So I blurred all the way… KO after KO… Haha… But still manage to stay in the round till the last bell ring… Lol… ~~ It’s a 60 question MCQ paper and I sat in the exam hall doing it for 2 hours… Lol… A.B.C one and I do it for 2 hours… Cuz I can’t break promise right… Lol… So as hard as that was… I remained sitting and trying till the last second… Just hope that effort didn’t come to a waste… So in the end I was one of the last to leave the hall…Looking like a zombie…. Lol… Really like zombie.. My eyes… Weak posture… ETC ETC… And I will be looking worse for next Monday when we finally have Anatomy… The largest hurdle of all… Damn… That will be worser than Instrumentation… However must focus on the next two match…. vs English and vs Animal Management…. Both should be better than Instrumentation I hope… But Arikamenai….!!! Not till the last second…. (Never give up) The flame that burns within grows hotter than ever… YA-HA!!

I don’t know why but many people tend to lose hope when it comes to last minute studying… They will act like… If cannot answer just go out la… And just stray around doing nothing as if they are waiting for some miracle to happen… That’s one thing which I am looking down on… If you live your life this way then its better for you not to live at all… There is no giving up you know… No matter how hard a situation is… When the odds are against you… Never must you say give up… Cuz when you say it then you already lost… Strive… Even if you cannot finish what it is that you are suppose to study… Strive to the last minute… The last second if possible… Any yet they are people who just give up a day before the whole thing… Useless… You know the outcome of last minute studying so why do you still do it then… And act out all those monkey behaviours when you received wrong info or tips… Blaming on others but its your own fault of not being able to prepare earlier… We tend to find faults more in others when we are done wrong… But no need the *stupid* monkey like behaviour like slamming the chair etc… (Just an example…) I feel so disgusted that I am seen with this type of people you know… Be more civilized… You are damn a lot older than me… Stupid…

Lol… Survived the first week of finals… Lucky… And survived the particular hard Wednesday night cramming two subjects into my head but it was worth it… At least I didn’t too terribly… Thats the extend of my promise… Never going to give up… Wednesday night… Though the notes in front of me never seems to lessen with every note that I finish reading but I still never gave up… One by one the hours passed by fast at first and slowly later. And as I finally lie on the bed at 5 am, I was still not done yet… Theres still another pile of notes left but that I left for the next morning at which the exams will start in the afternoon. And the next morning, woke at 8 am and within the hour I am done and at the faculty’s library striving once more to cram many other stuff from lymphatic system to basic cellular functions into my head once more… And till the last minute of the exams never did I give up hope of studying… Keep on telling myself… ‘Mada-mada’ (Japanese for NOT YET NOT NOW) Not now not yet… I won’t lose my hope just like that.. And I took the exams and answered it… To the best of my abilities although, quite a lot of infomation seemed to have got lost in the rusty brain of mine… Promise fulfilled for the first part of the finals… I wonder how the others at SPM are doing… Hope they have the best of luck…

Regarding to studying… I rather be working strategically than working hard… Cuz as hard as you work… Sometimes those that you work hard on won’t come out at all in the exams right… Thats one of the gamble which I took actually… I didn’t really finish studying Physiology (same to many other people actually) but I played with luck to not study one of the harsh topics which requires too much time and concentration to memorize… And really Thank God it didn’t come out… And however I pity those who actually strived to cram all that didn’t come out into their heads… Thats it for me… Strategically for me… There are only 5 subjects left…. 3 next week and two the week after that… But I won’t give up till the end… The next worst subject that I expect will be Anatomy on the 21th… But never losing my hope… ThE promise I will still fulfill to the fullest… Wish me luck…

Anyway… Talking on other stuff… I really think I am starting to look like Rock Lee from Naruto… Thanks to the thick eyebrows of mine… Hahaha… Really… But my interest towards Naruto is really high these few days especially to the song ‘GO!!’ and ‘Seishun Kyousoukyoku’ and ‘No Boy No cry’ all of them the opening themes to the anime… Lol…

Going back on the 26th of November… Did I mention that yet? Oh.. And good news for Kindaichi fans of Labuan… I found a shop here that sells most of the books (although second hand) and it great you know… I really like mysterious stuff… Stuff on rationalization and all those Sherlock Holmes novels… Never seemed to amazed me… And I am also hooked now onto the Warcraft novel… Very nice indeed…

Harry Potter 4th movie should be out or coming out these few days time… I really want to see it… Maybe if possible see it in the cinema or buy some DVD… Lol.. But I don’t especially like the latter since most of the fake DVD I buy is non-functional or get stuck somewhere in the middle…. Just like Doom… Which I seen recently… Get stuck on the last chapter… Damn.. Didn’t finish watching it… But still its a great movie.. It potrays the game a lot you know… Even the surrounding are almost similar to the game itself.. Love it… Also watch Saw 2 recently… Loved the first one and the second one is also great… Except for the part which they start to… you know… Die off one by one… Thats just gore… but still a great movie…

Well I guess life’s sort of slowing down with all these examinations… But will update as soon as I have the time… TATA~~~

Starting tomorrow will have exams…. Really really dead actually… But I promise myself… I promise all who read this… Never going to give up… No matter how hard…. Not now… Not yet… Not going too… Ever… YA-HA!!! (FYI, Ya-ha is something like a war cry I adopted from Eyeshield 21… Lol) But still not going to lose just like that… NOT GOING TOO!!!